My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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