it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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