the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
