That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize