What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
