Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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