I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
