So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
