Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
