So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize