Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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