I got chris browned last night
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my shit smells like andre
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Randomize
