The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize