Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
