i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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