I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize