girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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