Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
