I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
