he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
