dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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