Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
