were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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