3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
