the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
