you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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