fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
