We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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