We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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