So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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