This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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