dude i'm inner monologue high
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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