Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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