I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
