What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My pussy is not your playground.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
