I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
