I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
