He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
