Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
