I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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