The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I need to stop coming to work sober
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
