I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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