singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
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does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
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I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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