I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
