How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
