I wish I could punch you in the face.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
