everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
