Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
