dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
