Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Randomize
