Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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