He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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