I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
