dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
