hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
