I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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