Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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