I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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